


Crooked Way

by gurajiorasu



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 00:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2527082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurajiorasu/pseuds/gurajiorasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You, Jun, were the one who asked me to write more love songs. Fans love it, you said. Use your feelings more, you said. Now you are the one who prohibit me from falling in love with someone. How funny is that?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crooked Way

**Author's Note:**

> Let me say this: I'm not referring to any of Nino's ex when I wrote this. If there's Nino x his ex shipper who read this, please don't kill me. T-T

“You cried yourself dry again,” Jun pointed out, “You have to stop this, Nino.”  
It was the n-th time this happened and it had become too much for Jun to keep his mouth shut.

“Stop what?” Nino knew precisely what Jun was talking about, it was just one of his trait to _always_ make everything harder than it should be.  
His expression suddenly changed into an annoyed one.

Jun answered it bluntly, “Falling in love.”  
 _And really_ fall, _like, almost literally it hurts you so much._

Nino snorted a laugh cynically, “ _You_ , Jun, were the one who asked me to write more love songs. Fans love it, you said. Use your feelings more, you said. Now _you_ are the one who prohibit me from falling in _love_ with someone. How funny is that?”

Jun groaned. He cursed himself for loving their fans more than he loved himself.  
“At least fall in love with the _right_ person, Nino. Not with the ones who will only break your heart like it’s their hobby!” Jun exploded, “Listen, if you search carefully, you’ll find people who deserves your love. Take your time, Nino, don’t just jump to the closest bitch that plastered her disgusting body to you. That way, you could spare yourself from having your heart broken.”  
 _And you could spare me from worrying sick about you._

“I don’t have time and I don’t have the will to search carefully. I just need someone to love, anyone’s fine,” Nino shot his it’s-not-your-business-stop-already glare to Jun but of course Jun ignored it.

Jun winced. It might be the cruelest thing he ever heard since forever.  
 _Anyone’s fine but you always end up loving them so wholeheartedly. What are you doing? Digging up your own grave?_  
“It’s like trusting your heart to a random stranger, Nino!” Jun snapped. He approached Nino and lowered his tone. His voice came out like he was begging for his life when he said, “Value yourself more, Nino. You are _precious_ , don’t giveaway yourself so freely like that. Please.”

“Random or not, I don’t really care. And why would you, by the way? You’re not my mother or anything. I write decent songs - that’s the only thing you should care about.”

_No, it’s not._

Nino packed his belongings to his bag rather furiously. He was preparing to leave and Jun had a slight hunch about his destination.

“Where are you going?”

“Stop being so nosy, it’s none of your business,” Nino muttered. His eyes focused to all the things he stuffed to his bag; his DS, his cellphone, cologne, roses...

 _Fuck, roses._  
“What? She asked you to come back to her again? Or is it yet another devious bitch? No. You’re not going anywhere,” Jun seized Nino’s car key.

“Hey, give it back!”

“No love song is okay. Just stop seeing stupid bitches who don’t know how to treat you,” Jun raised his hand up in the air. For once, he was very grateful that he outgrew Nino.

“It’s not your call,” Nino tsked, “Don’t make me hate you, MatsuJun. We are trapped together until God-knows-when so, please, be nice.”

 _Yes, we are trapped together until God-knows-when and that’s why everything’s a million times harder._  
“I’d rather have you hate me than let you trade your heart in spite of making a fucking love song!”

“IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, MATSUMOTO JUN!” Nino finally broke into one yelling bundle of anger.

“IT IS!” Jun yelled back, “It’s _your_ song, yes, but it will be released under _our_ group. It’s a track in _our_ album. So when the _group_ says no solo love song from Ninomiya is needed, then be it!”

“Alright, drop the song-writing thing. I just need someone to love. Period,” from the look in his eyes, Jun knew Nino was really mad, “There, now it’s not your business anymore. Give me back my key.”

There was this certain feeling that made Jun’s whole body trembled. His legs felt like they were made of jelly, his heart felt like it had a deep and hollow hole on it.  
He had lost control of himself when the craziest of crazy idea slipped from his lips, "If you're that desperate to find someone to love then- then love _me_. Anyone’s fine, right?” he was _this_ close to hyperventilating, “It might be a crooked way to fix this but it's better than having you jumping from one bitch to another whore."

If Nino was startled, he covered it up nicely.  
He looked perfectly calm when he snatched back his key from Jun’s weakened hand. He smirked bitterly - no, he _laughed_ bitterly - as he replied, “Crooked indeed, Matsumoto Jun.”

“I’m serious,” Jun gripped Nino’s hand.  
 _I’m deadly serious._

Nino stared back to Jun. His eyes were beautiful but Jun could see every scratch of pain that Nino had suffered through those eyes.  
“And what difference would it make? Enlighten me, please.”

Jun wasn’t sure what to answer. Everything that had been suppressed since forever now welled up to his throat, competing to come out.  
In the end, not even a syllable came out as an answer.

“Nothing, right?” Nino smirked bitterly again, “Do the crooked way my ass, Jun. You’re the straightest man I’ve ever met, both ideologically and sexually. Having you do something bent or crooked will only bring disaster. In the end, you will only dump me, telling me that I’m too much to handle and that you just can’t love me. Or that there’s someone who is more worthy than me to be loved. Just like those bitches you’ve been cursing about.”

Nino’s words weren’t only words; they were blades stabbing Jun’s heart.  
 _So that’s how you think I would be, Nino?  So that’s me in your eyes?_

“What’s the difference, Jun?” Nino asked again with his hands on Jun’s collar, demanding. Pushing. His expression was hurt for some reason.

Jun’s lips were sealed. His guts were failing him.

Nino released Jun’s shirt. He looked like he shouldn’t explode like that but he did - there’s a hint of regret in his face.  
He looked down, smirking his bitter smirk. Again.  
“Nah, forget it. Just… forget it,” his pain was real, Jun could sense it. For a moment, he darted his eyes wildly around the room and finally he looked at his wristwatch, “I have to go, _she’s_ waiting.”

Jun could only stare as Nino left him alone with a hurried pace.  
Maybe there’s no one waiting. Maybe Nino just wanted to be away from Jun.  
Maybe.

It took more than a full minute until Jun’s body was functioning again.

“I’ll never make you cry,” Jun trembled, “I’ll cherish you, respect you, and make you smile, not cry.”

All the things that were suffocating him flew out to the empty air, “I won’t turn my back on you, I won’t let sadness exist in your life, I won’t look at other people- for God’s sake I haven’t looked at anyone other than you since forever!”

He screamed even though he knew no one would hear him. His tears rolled down to his cheek.  
“I’ll definitely _love you_ back. That’s the difference, Nino!”


End file.
